feeling good!

I have titled this feeling good, because I feel happy and healthy. I am also enjoying my family. My family is the most important thing in my life. Lately I have seen quite a lot of them and I feel very blessed that they want to be with me and appreciate me.

My son, who is very disabled, had a recital of his poems, together with a friend who played the piano. About 80 people attended. The idea was to  raise funds for  him to purchase a special bike. Since he had his double amputation he has not been able to cycle, which has been something he had always enjoyed. He is trying to get the type of bike that the Paralympic athletes use. He has now managed to raise the amount needed and is ordering this bike. It will be so wonderful for him to be able to cycle again. He is able to walk with prosthetic legs but is very ungainly and often it is painful and uncomfortable for him. This will make life so much easier for him. His life is one of struggle and achievement and he deserves some reward.

My health seems to be much better. I am no longer taking steroids (about 10 months). My allergies have improved, though a new one has occurred (but is not so bad as before). My feet, that had become very painful, are still painful but have improved in mobility. This is due to seeing an osteopath and a reflexologist who have worked really hard on them. There was a time I could only walk with difficulty and using painkillers.

When I first started this blog I was so full of anger and disappointments and needed to get all my feelings out. These days I seem calmer and less stressed.

I enjoy two very good exercise classes and belong to 3 groups so manage to be quite busy.. My old problems about friendship is still ongoing as my two closest friends have died  and my friendship group has become much smaller and I miss these two friends very much.

All in all I feel much calmer and happier. I hope this continues! This blog has been my outlet for my feelings!

families

I love my family. I think they are great. Lovely, warm, clever, intelligent and caring. But they each have problems which worry me. It also makes me feel guilty - is it my fault? Am I the cause of their problems. When they were young I did what I thought was the best for them. I had very little money, and had no one to advise me but when I think back on those days (and they were days of struggle) I wonder if I was correct to react in the way I did. It was the time of Women's Rights, equality, freedom for young people - the 60's and 70's.

S of their problems are ill-health. One suffers from a chronic disease and suffered amputations, also suffers from anxiety;  another suffers from  Rheumatoid arthritis;  the youngest from anxiety.

At my age (82) I shouldn't feel so worried about them. They are all married, have children, and all in work. They are capable to make their own decisions and manage their lives, but I still worry about them. I feel that I am able to support and counsel them BUT SHOULD I STILL DO THIS?

The are all loving and caring and that is important, but I want them to enjoy their lives more and not have so many cares.

When I think back on my life, I realise that I was also burdened with lots of cares in the past, probably at their age - so perhaps it is normal.

I do feel happy that I have such a lovely family and that they still need me and want me to be part of their lives. I love them dearly.

Getting older!

I still have problems with using this blog. Is it my laptop? I am using my laptop but I don't feel so confident using it as I used to with the old computer. The old pc isn't working now and so I am getting a new computer soon. I prefer a computer to a laptop. I have been fortunate in finding someone who is able to help me with computing problems. He has already helped me with e-bay and pay pal and I have managed to buy a few things on e-bay but cannot sell as yet as I can't manage to put photos from my camera on - I will eventually! At present he can't help me as he has just had an op but will be able to do so soon.

Health. my health has improved and I am no longer taking steroids. I still have irritations on my skin, which has been getting me down. I have tried all sorts of creams but they don't really work -  so  am going to a homoeopath for help. Hopefully this will help. I have had this problem for 3 years.

Otherwise, I am feeling good and positive. This has been a good year. Mentally I am calmer, my body is a bit stiff and I have arthritic pains. But I am 81 (nearly 82) so it is to be expected.

I went to France in August with my daughter and her partner (that was very successful) I went to a wedding in Brussels and recently went to an 80th birthday in Berlin. I also spent New Year in California. So I am still doing some good things. I still exercise, but don't walk so much due to arthritis in my feet. I try and keep active mentally and physically. I am trying to go to Australia in a year (but am not certain about it). It is a gruelling journey.

I want to try and put a photo in here !

It worked!

Feeling Good

I like that title 'feeling good' - it makes me feel that things are progressing. My health is improving - but very slowly. The medication I am taking makes me feel fine and the doctor says my inflammation levels have gone right down - but I am still taking steroids - though a very low dose. At present I am on 3 mg soon I will take 2 and then gradually going down. Then I was told my thyroid level under active and so I went on levothyroxine - some months later I had to double the dose - but so far I think it is Ok and the doctor is pleased with that.

Today has been a lovely day - early spring - a little cold - but some sunshine! This brings me hope and well-being so that is why I am 'feeling good'. I am adding a picture I took a few years ago - but thought it appropriate to show it when I am feeling like this.

My main problem at present is my new lap top. I am typing this on my old PC, because I am having so much trouble getting familiar with the new computer. It is the notorious 8.1. Mostly I use this old computer as I feel it is so much more efficient. The only problem is that is is so old and it is XP which is no longer supported so one day it will die a computer death. I do try and keep up with technology but it changes all the time and so I find it difficult. But I am not too bad for an 80 year old.

Yesterday was a family celebration for my youngest daughter's birthday. It was a lovely day and all the family were there. The tea was lovely and so was the company! So I suppose the happy feelings I had then are making me feel so much brighter today.

Bright berries!



A lovely day at Ruislip Lido!

 The photo with the berries - I just found - I don't remember when I took it but I thought it was quite cheerful.

I have a new camera now so intend to take lots more photos.

That is all for now!

Catching up with my life. Why can't I continue this blog!

I have lots of things to write about. My last blog seemed a bit depressing and I think I was depressed then. However some nice things have happened to me since then.

First of all my 80th Birthday!!! It was really wonderful. I had lots of different celebrations but the most memorable was the two I had with my family. My American cousin and her Granddaughter came to stay.

Then we all went out for a birthday dinner at a local Italian restaurant. A few days later my cousin and I went on a 3 day tour to Suffolk, where I showed my cousin some of my favourite places includidng the place that I stay when I visit. See the picture included.

A few days later I had my birthday tea party. I had booked a room at a local hotel and had a typical English Afternoon tea. There were 25 people (people that meant a lot to me - my family, of course, and a few special friends.There were balloons and pictures of me as a young girl and a young wife. It was one of the most wonderful days of my life to be surrounded by so much love and appreciation. The weather was very favourable and we were able to sit in the grounds sipping prosecco before the tea. I have lived on this memory ever since.

A few weeks later I had the very sad news that another old friend had died and that has put me into a contemplative mood ever since. Some of my very special friends, who were just a bit older than me have gone. A part of my history has disappeared and there is no one with whom I can share our shared experiences. I feel quite alone. I have fewer friends and the older special ones have now gone! It is very sad. 

Then in August I went to Canada for a family wedding. Usually I go on my own but this time I was accompanied by my twin Grandchildren (19 years old) and it was so lovely to be with them. This was also a lovely experience.

So in all I have been through some depressing times but in between there have been some lovely, memorable, heartwarming moment. At 80 I must say I am very lucky to be in reasonable health and to be surrounded by a loving family.  I do try and keep fit and exercise and eat well - and try and keep my mind active.

I think I have been writing this blog for 5 years. I must get a new photo of myself to put on  it so that I can compare.

My last item of note has been a reunion of some of my old friends, from my teenage years. Some of them I have seen recently but we have never all been together. We hope to meet up again in the New Year.

Christmas is coming - not my favourite time of the year. But I hope to write more about my feelings in the New Year.

Thoughts for June!

For some reason I have been having problems with this blog. I haven't written since last year. There seems to be a problem with this web site.

This hasn't been a good year for me so far. I have had some health problems which seem to be hanging on. However I don't feel too bad as I am taking medication to ease the problem. But I seem to be going to the doctors surgery for blood tests, doctors consultation and getting prescriptions and all this seems to be taking lots of energy.

I have given up going to my Fine Arts Group and Yoga and the Book club, but still find life quite busy.

I am still going to the market on Tuesdays. Have I written about this in the past - I don't remember. I have been quite successful in selling collectable for some years but this year I haven't done well at all and I have been feeling very despondent about it. But the last three weeks have improved a bit so I feel better about it

I have seen the family quite a bit recently as there have been some school holidays and they have had more time to see me.

This summer I am going to be 80 years old. I cannot believe that it is possible for me to be so old. In many ways I don't feel it or look it. But there are times that I really feel my age. I am going to celebrate by having a family tea party at a local hotel. I am looking forward to it.

I do feel anxious about things these days which I think is a sign of aging!

Last year I did quite a bit of travelling. From California to Seattle - then flying to Toronto. It was a really good but tiring time. Then in the New Year I went to Iceland for 3 days. That was a good trip also. I now have a trip to Toronto to look forward to this August.

 I hope the next time I write I will be a bit more positive enthusiastic.

Mundane happenings in my life.

There are still problems with this blog, but I am managing to get on it OK. I can't find spell check so have been making mistakes not realising. Also the paragraphs don't seem to work! Today has been a good and productive day. I went to my chiropractor this morning. I have been going for the past few months as I have had problems with my back and neck. I could hardly move my head without restriction and pain. But now it has almost got back to normal. I suppose after years of carrying heavy things, tensing up whenever I have had problems, etc. has created this problem. Then I went to the Estate Agent and told them I was isnterested in going ahead and sell my house and buy something smaller. I had been for a walk in the area the estate agent had recommended to me and find that I like them and wouldn't mind living in one of those sites. So when I get back from my trip abroad I will go ahead. Then I went to the dentist and had my teeth polished and so I feel good about them. And then I went to my book group to discuss a Graham Greene book we had recently read. The group are very unintellectual and we only discuss the books for a short while and then gossip about other things. The books are also not very demanding. But the people are really very nice and it is a pleasant 2 hours to spend once a month. Tomorrow I am going to my second yoga class. I used to go regularly for about 20 years but gave up 4 years ago. When I went last week I realised how stiff I was and that I would have to exercise as a beginner until I get back to my old standard (if I ever do get back to it). Another positive thing I have done is get my camera sorted out. For some reason (and I think it was I did something to it unknowingly) it stopped taking photos. The man in Curry's, where I had originally bought it, very kindly corrected it for me. It seems OK now and I hope to use it when I am abroad. My problem is that I take the camera but often forget to take any photos. But I must do so this time!!!!! I seem to be writing about very mundane things - but I think I am feeling a bit more relaxed and calmer at the moment. Next time I may be in a different mood.