Thoughts for June!

For some reason I have been having problems with this blog. I haven't written since last year. There seems to be a problem with this web site.

This hasn't been a good year for me so far. I have had some health problems which seem to be hanging on. However I don't feel too bad as I am taking medication to ease the problem. But I seem to be going to the doctors surgery for blood tests, doctors consultation and getting prescriptions and all this seems to be taking lots of energy.

I have given up going to my Fine Arts Group and Yoga and the Book club, but still find life quite busy.

I am still going to the market on Tuesdays. Have I written about this in the past - I don't remember. I have been quite successful in selling collectable for some years but this year I haven't done well at all and I have been feeling very despondent about it. But the last three weeks have improved a bit so I feel better about it

I have seen the family quite a bit recently as there have been some school holidays and they have had more time to see me.

This summer I am going to be 80 years old. I cannot believe that it is possible for me to be so old. In many ways I don't feel it or look it. But there are times that I really feel my age. I am going to celebrate by having a family tea party at a local hotel. I am looking forward to it.

I do feel anxious about things these days which I think is a sign of aging!

Last year I did quite a bit of travelling. From California to Seattle - then flying to Toronto. It was a really good but tiring time. Then in the New Year I went to Iceland for 3 days. That was a good trip also. I now have a trip to Toronto to look forward to this August.

 I hope the next time I write I will be a bit more positive enthusiastic.

Mundane happenings in my life.

There are still problems with this blog, but I am managing to get on it OK. I can't find spell check so have been making mistakes not realising. Also the paragraphs don't seem to work! Today has been a good and productive day. I went to my chiropractor this morning. I have been going for the past few months as I have had problems with my back and neck. I could hardly move my head without restriction and pain. But now it has almost got back to normal. I suppose after years of carrying heavy things, tensing up whenever I have had problems, etc. has created this problem. Then I went to the Estate Agent and told them I was isnterested in going ahead and sell my house and buy something smaller. I had been for a walk in the area the estate agent had recommended to me and find that I like them and wouldn't mind living in one of those sites. So when I get back from my trip abroad I will go ahead. Then I went to the dentist and had my teeth polished and so I feel good about them. And then I went to my book group to discuss a Graham Greene book we had recently read. The group are very unintellectual and we only discuss the books for a short while and then gossip about other things. The books are also not very demanding. But the people are really very nice and it is a pleasant 2 hours to spend once a month. Tomorrow I am going to my second yoga class. I used to go regularly for about 20 years but gave up 4 years ago. When I went last week I realised how stiff I was and that I would have to exercise as a beginner until I get back to my old standard (if I ever do get back to it). Another positive thing I have done is get my camera sorted out. For some reason (and I think it was I did something to it unknowingly) it stopped taking photos. The man in Curry's, where I had originally bought it, very kindly corrected it for me. It seems OK now and I hope to use it when I am abroad. My problem is that I take the camera but often forget to take any photos. But I must do so this time!!!!! I seem to be writing about very mundane things - but I think I am feeling a bit more relaxed and calmer at the moment. Next time I may be in a different mood.

Autumn - Exciting holidays! Glamorous celebrations!

Lately I have been having difficulty in getting onto this blog. I don't know why! Today I was just put straight on to it so the problem seems to have cleared up. I have called this 'Exciting holidays' and Glamorous celebrations! as in a week or so I am going to California and then on to Canada. In California I am going to see my cousin who is going to drive us to Seattle. LA to Santa Barbara, then Monterey, then San Francisco etc. I will write in more detail when I get back. Then we return to LA where we will both fly to Toronto. In Toronto I will see my sister and her family, where there will be a wedding of one of her ganddaugher's. So America will be the exciting time and Toronto the glamorous. My mind is going around and around wonderin what type of clothes I have to take with me. From warm California to colder Seattle, then back to warm California and then on to very cold Toronto and then back to wintery November in London. Otherwise I am looking forward to being away into a new environment in the company of my cousin, who I like, and then to be with my sister. It is all good. When I get back to London I have decided that I am going to put my house up for sale and move to a smaller abode. I live in a roomy 3 bedroom 2 reception room house and now that I am older I do not need so much space. A two bedroom flat or maisonette would be quite suitable. Also I live in a very built up, busy area, on a main road and it would be nice to live away from the noise and problems living here entails. In the past I have had so many problems with neighbours - this has all been sorted out - but it could happen again and I am hoaping the new area would be a nice place. So when I get back I will have lots to write about and also lots to do. There will be Christmas arrangements, preparing the house for sale etc. I hope my next blog will be more interesting.

A picture!

I am trying to print a picture.

Hooray!! I have managed it.

September Surprises!

This is my latest blog. I have titled it 'September Surprises' because it sounds good not that I have any real surprises. The summer was great - we had such lovely weather, but now it has turned colder and Autumn is really here. A lot is happening here. One Grandson has started Secondary School and two other Grandchildren are starting University - so it is full of anxieties and and emotions - but also happy feelings. I seem to have got out of my depressions. Part of it may be due to me taking medication for an underactive thyroid. I used to feel that I was so exhausted that I just didn't want to move and was overwhelmed by tiredness. Though I have only been taking this medication for 2 weeks I am beginning to feel more positive not so tired. I am not certain if that is the reason or whether I am just going through a phase of positiveness!! We shall see. I did feel depressed for a while about the fact that I had to take medication as I have always avoided doing so. I tried to add a picture but it didn't work - I wonder why. I also found it difficult to get on this blog. I think it is because they have changed the format and I have found it hard to access. I still have my worries about getting old and coping with it and I have had problems with my neck and shoulders. I have been unable to move them without pain and I was tightening up so that the movement was becoming more restrcted. However, I am having treatment with a Chiroptractic and things are easing. I am still trying to keep a healthy regime. I will try and write more another time.

Miserable May

We are nearly at the end of May and the weather hasn't improved very much. We have had a few days of fine weather - but very few. The recent Bank holiday was an exception as we had some really lovely weather  - which made it hard to go back to the old gloomy, rainy and cold days.

Tuesday rained all day. Today, Wednesday, hasn't been too bad, but I do feel chilled and have had to put the heating on. The heating on in May!!!

After the mice incident which I described in my last blog, things seemed to go well. My stay in the country was delightful, though cold. I did manage to get a few good walks in. At the cottage there were two new kittens - Sasha and Lazlo - who were delightful as well as two doves and their two chicks. I spent a lot of time just looking into the garden to look at the birds, who were feeding from the feeder I filled daily, and the doves and the chicks. The kittens were delightful.

Then back to London. One of my close friends has been diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer. They say they cannot operate but possibly chemo-therapy will help. But it doesn't look too good. I went to stay with her for a few days to give her some moral support. She is very brave and is coping amazingly.

Back home life went on - but the weather didn't improve. I have been fighting depression daily and trying to be positive.  I am beginning to feel my age and have various aches and pains - mostly in my neck and shoulders. I am finding it difficult to cope with problems and make decisions. I can feel my body tiring. I know that sounds very negative - but I am trying to be truthful. I am really finding it harder to function than previously. My memory doesn't work so well and my body doesn't feel as active as it was.

There have been a few problems. Such as the gear on my car didn't work so I had to take it into the garage and spent £250 for repairs. The positive thing is that I sorted the problem out - as my immediate reaction was to ignore it and not to do anything about it. I also feel very fortunate I didn't have to put in a new gear box as that would have been very expensive - more than the car is worth.

The other problem was that on Tuesday where is rained heavily for most of the day, the water came into my conservatory and there was a great pool of water. I put in large containers in the morning to catch the water and they were full by the time I got home in the evening. So I worried about how I was going to get it repaired etc and felt very low. BUT - my Italian friend who had been staying with me - came to the rescue.
He climbed a ladder and checked that the problem was the guttering was full of rubbish and needed to be cleaned out. And he proceeded to clear it and then used the hose to get rid of all the debris. I just felt so grateful for his help and kindness. In fact I feel very blessed as he and another friend of mine have done so much to help me with the house. I couldn't continue to stay here if I didn't have such kind friends.

Well, some of this blog has been miserable - but there have been some positive things too. So I will finish with this uplifting feeling.

March Miseries

March has been really miserable. Very cold weather, lots of biting wind, and I am feeling quite low. This winter has been very long and it doesn't seem to be ending at all. Usually there is a feeling of hope at this time of year - but not at the moment. There are still a few more days of the month left and the weather forecast is dreadful - very cold.

In the middle of February I had a cataract operation. The actual operation went quite well but somehow a piece of debris remained and was causing discomfort so I had to have the eyeball 'washed out' (this was more uncomfortable than the actual cataract op) but I am fine now. Still putting drops in my eye - but otherwise seeing quite well and waiting for an appointment to go to my opticians to get glasses. At present I do not really need glasses for most things. I am slightly shortsighed now - but can see most things other than very small print and will need to wear glasses for driving and tv. I have had to wear glasses most of my life so it will be a relief not to have to rely on them now.

The Cataract Operation added to my miseries the end of February and beginning of March - but there have been other factors. My social life has slowed down again and, as usual, am beginning to feel that I am on my own and no-one cares. I must say my children have shown me every care and attention - but my friends seem to have disappeared from my life.  They had all had health or family problems which leaves me on my own. Whereas I usually meet a friend for tea/coffee or lunch weekly - these have stopped and I find I'm doing things on my own. I don't mind being on my own but I do like having people around me with whom I can communicate.

Another problem has been - mice. I have had mice in my kitchen for the past 2 weeks and have been trying to get rid of them. I have (against my sensitive feelings) had to put down poison. Today there has been a very slight sign of the 'little visitors' but I am now visualising them eating the poison and then dying a horrible death and feeling really bad about this.

Anyway positive things. I am going away next Tuesday for a few days to Kent. I usually go with a friend of mine but she is one of my friends with health problems so part of the time I will be on my own. She hopes to come down for a day which will be nice if she can manage this. The weather will still be cold - but it will be good to get away from dreary London.

Soon I will go to my usual village in Suffolk for a week in April and I am really looking forward to that. There will 2 other occasions for me visiting that area this year.

On Easter Monday the family will come over for afternoon tea. That will give me great pleasure.

I have booked a holiday in California to see my cousin who lives there. I am going in October and will see her, some old friends and relations. So that is something really nice to look forward to.

I am already feeling a little bit happier after writing this. I am going to The Royal Academy to see an Art exhibition later today. On my own - but will enjoy this.