New Year Thoughts

Its the beginning of the year so thought it appropriate to write something about the past and also new thoughts for the future.

I dreaded the Christmas Holidays. There is so much panic and everyone seems to be racing around preparing for those few days - buying and buying as if there is no tomorrow. We are in a depression and people still seem to be spending loads of money on gifts.

My family are the same - but, I must say, it was a really nice Christmas after all. One daughter and her partner made a lovely traditional dinner and then we played games and it was really quite nice. Then on Boxing day I went to my other daughter and we had a pleasant time together with some friends of theirs. And on Christmas Eve I spent some time with my son, daughter-in-law and their teenage twins - and that was really good.

Being on my own and getting older, I can't help feeling that my relationship with my family is changing. I always thought I was a pivotal person in the family, but now they have all over taken me and all lead busy and stressful lives. I know they all love me - but they look upon me as old and past it (I don't mean they ignore me - but that they just think I will always be there, always there if they need me) but otherwise I am just put in a little box in their mind as 'good old mum'. I just don't feel very important or part of their lives as I used to. This is all very clumsily put - but I find it hard to verbalise how I feel. I have spoken about it to one or two of my friends and they feel the same as me. They love their children and their children love them - but we are all 'has-beens'. I suppose it is natural. All our children are aged between 40 and early 50's and they are at their prime and we are sliding downhill. When our parents were our age we thought they were very old also - but they were a lot older in their ways that we are. We are healthier and more active than any past generation. In fact we are very lucky.

The digital explosion hasn't help us as it puts us at a disadvantage. The younger generation talk about things with their children that we have no knowledge about or just a glimmer of understanding!

Still I am very proud of my family and they are doing very well under difficult circumstances. With the economic  situation of the moment they are all worried about their jobs and working very hard trying to look after their families. They are good, caring, hard-working people.

Fortunately my health was good last year and I hope it will continue so for this coming year. I have a small concern about my cholesterol and also will be having a cataract operation on one of my eyes in a few weeks time but otherwise my body is still quite fit and active. I exercise quite often and take care of my diet and so feel quit fit and I am determined to stay that way for as long as possible.

When I started this 'blog' about 2 years ago - I said 'Is there anybody out there' as felt so alone and that there is no-one just for me. I still do feel that way - but this 'blog' has helped me get over that when I have my bad days. Even if I don't write very often I still think about what I am going so say as I go about my everyday activities, so it has helped me get over those very emotional feelings I often get.

One good thing that has happened recently that should have a mention here. I spent 4 days in Barcelona. It was a really very nice break and I had a very enjoyable time with one of my friends. Maybe I will post some pictures of that trip next time.