I have decided to write about good things in this post. I am fed up with being depressed and only want to be positive.
I had a moment of great happiness last week! In life one just takes things as they come - the good and the bad. But the precious moments of sublime happiness are very rare. There are great moments in life such as - first love - the birth of a baby - the joys of watching the children grow up and then there are moments when something simple just triggers off a moment of sheer delight. Perhaps a walk in the park and seeing the colours of the leaves or being with someone you care for. You want to keep that moment with you but reality takes over and it slips away. However, that warm feeling will remain and you know that life is worth while.
Well last week I met up with an old friend and because the weather was so beautiful (an October day that had blue skies and that lovely feeling of clarity and crispness in the air) on the spur of the moment we decided to go for a boat trip on Camden Lock. We spent about two hours on the boat, eating our sandwich lunch, drinking coffee and talking about various happenings in our lives and also reminiscing about the past. It felt so comfortable and so peaceful. A moment to hold (if possible). Travelling through the canal, passing Regents Park and the Zoo and listening the commentary by a charming young lady, just added to the to the day.
After that we went our separate ways - and I left for home feeling content, with a glow in my heart. I haven't felt like this for a long time and I have been holding this inside myself since then wanting to put this down in print. It was a perfect afternoon!
Monday 18 October 2010
Sunday 3 October 2010
Catching up.!
The last time I wrote is the 8th August - so much time has passed by - so much has happened.
I last wrote just before I went on my trip to Canada and California and I was full of trepidation about the visits. I went for a wedding (my sister's grandaughter's) and then went on to stay with my Californian cousin. My sister and I have a very difficult relationship. We are like chalk and cheese - she thinks she is always right - and always has to be superior. I think I am more humble - and have less self esteem. But after years of pandering to her I now feel very rebellious. However, taking into account our ages, I have decided to try and just ignore things.
Most of the time we were together we got on OK. I didn't agree with everything she said and she always states her opinion about everything, but I tried to keep quiet. However towards the end of the week we seemed to feel warmer to each other as we had shared a very emotional moment when we both wept on seeing the beautiful young bride and we hugged each other! My sister has done some unforgiveable things to me in the past and I will never forget them. I will always feel hurt and there will always be some sort of barrier between us but we are both getting older and are the only two left of our family of 5 so I hesitate to cut off from her.
On the other hand my cousin from America was loving and helpful and made me feel very welcome and an equal. So in the end I did have a great time. I came home feeling very relaxed and realised that I had been under stress in London and going away did me a lot of good. My son met me at the airport and that was a bonus for me as I do not see him as often as I would like.
HOWEVER, after my son left I went upstairs and found that in my absence there had been an overflow of water from the loft into the spare room below. Half the ceiling had fallen down and everything was soaking wet. Unfortunately my computer was underneath the flow on water so I could not use it. That is one of the reasons I couldn't get up to date on this blog. I came home on the 26th August and today, 3rd October, I still have no ceiling and the room is also waiting to be decorated. The actual computer was saved - but the monitor, keyboard, printer etc were written off. Everything takes its time with the insurance companies and I am still waiting......
Though I was very depressed about the above I have also done a few nice things. I went on another walk one lovely late summer day. I spent a day in Kent with a friend. My friend from Suffolk came to stay and we also went on another long walk. I must make the most of these walks in the country as the weather is now changing and today it is raining and it looks as if it is set in for the day. One of my friends took me out for dinner (that was really nice) and I also went on a coach trip near Newbury and visited a wonderful chapel that had been built as a memorial and was decorated with Stanley Spencer paintings (which was superb). I am planning to go away for a week-end soon and have also been invited to stay in Suffolk in December for a few days. So these are all positive things to look forward to.
I will write again soon.
I last wrote just before I went on my trip to Canada and California and I was full of trepidation about the visits. I went for a wedding (my sister's grandaughter's) and then went on to stay with my Californian cousin. My sister and I have a very difficult relationship. We are like chalk and cheese - she thinks she is always right - and always has to be superior. I think I am more humble - and have less self esteem. But after years of pandering to her I now feel very rebellious. However, taking into account our ages, I have decided to try and just ignore things.
Most of the time we were together we got on OK. I didn't agree with everything she said and she always states her opinion about everything, but I tried to keep quiet. However towards the end of the week we seemed to feel warmer to each other as we had shared a very emotional moment when we both wept on seeing the beautiful young bride and we hugged each other! My sister has done some unforgiveable things to me in the past and I will never forget them. I will always feel hurt and there will always be some sort of barrier between us but we are both getting older and are the only two left of our family of 5 so I hesitate to cut off from her.
On the other hand my cousin from America was loving and helpful and made me feel very welcome and an equal. So in the end I did have a great time. I came home feeling very relaxed and realised that I had been under stress in London and going away did me a lot of good. My son met me at the airport and that was a bonus for me as I do not see him as often as I would like.
HOWEVER, after my son left I went upstairs and found that in my absence there had been an overflow of water from the loft into the spare room below. Half the ceiling had fallen down and everything was soaking wet. Unfortunately my computer was underneath the flow on water so I could not use it. That is one of the reasons I couldn't get up to date on this blog. I came home on the 26th August and today, 3rd October, I still have no ceiling and the room is also waiting to be decorated. The actual computer was saved - but the monitor, keyboard, printer etc were written off. Everything takes its time with the insurance companies and I am still waiting......
Though I was very depressed about the above I have also done a few nice things. I went on another walk one lovely late summer day. I spent a day in Kent with a friend. My friend from Suffolk came to stay and we also went on another long walk. I must make the most of these walks in the country as the weather is now changing and today it is raining and it looks as if it is set in for the day. One of my friends took me out for dinner (that was really nice) and I also went on a coach trip near Newbury and visited a wonderful chapel that had been built as a memorial and was decorated with Stanley Spencer paintings (which was superb). I am planning to go away for a week-end soon and have also been invited to stay in Suffolk in December for a few days. So these are all positive things to look forward to.
I will write again soon.
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