feeling good!

I have titled this feeling good, because I feel happy and healthy. I am also enjoying my family. My family is the most important thing in my life. Lately I have seen quite a lot of them and I feel very blessed that they want to be with me and appreciate me.

My son, who is very disabled, had a recital of his poems, together with a friend who played the piano. About 80 people attended. The idea was to  raise funds for  him to purchase a special bike. Since he had his double amputation he has not been able to cycle, which has been something he had always enjoyed. He is trying to get the type of bike that the Paralympic athletes use. He has now managed to raise the amount needed and is ordering this bike. It will be so wonderful for him to be able to cycle again. He is able to walk with prosthetic legs but is very ungainly and often it is painful and uncomfortable for him. This will make life so much easier for him. His life is one of struggle and achievement and he deserves some reward.

My health seems to be much better. I am no longer taking steroids (about 10 months). My allergies have improved, though a new one has occurred (but is not so bad as before). My feet, that had become very painful, are still painful but have improved in mobility. This is due to seeing an osteopath and a reflexologist who have worked really hard on them. There was a time I could only walk with difficulty and using painkillers.

When I first started this blog I was so full of anger and disappointments and needed to get all my feelings out. These days I seem calmer and less stressed.

I enjoy two very good exercise classes and belong to 3 groups so manage to be quite busy.. My old problems about friendship is still ongoing as my two closest friends have died  and my friendship group has become much smaller and I miss these two friends very much.

All in all I feel much calmer and happier. I hope this continues! This blog has been my outlet for my feelings!

families

I love my family. I think they are great. Lovely, warm, clever, intelligent and caring. But they each have problems which worry me. It also makes me feel guilty - is it my fault? Am I the cause of their problems. When they were young I did what I thought was the best for them. I had very little money, and had no one to advise me but when I think back on those days (and they were days of struggle) I wonder if I was correct to react in the way I did. It was the time of Women's Rights, equality, freedom for young people - the 60's and 70's.

S of their problems are ill-health. One suffers from a chronic disease and suffered amputations, also suffers from anxiety;  another suffers from  Rheumatoid arthritis;  the youngest from anxiety.

At my age (82) I shouldn't feel so worried about them. They are all married, have children, and all in work. They are capable to make their own decisions and manage their lives, but I still worry about them. I feel that I am able to support and counsel them BUT SHOULD I STILL DO THIS?

The are all loving and caring and that is important, but I want them to enjoy their lives more and not have so many cares.

When I think back on my life, I realise that I was also burdened with lots of cares in the past, probably at their age - so perhaps it is normal.

I do feel happy that I have such a lovely family and that they still need me and want me to be part of their lives. I love them dearly.

Getting older!

I still have problems with using this blog. Is it my laptop? I am using my laptop but I don't feel so confident using it as I used to with the old computer. The old pc isn't working now and so I am getting a new computer soon. I prefer a computer to a laptop. I have been fortunate in finding someone who is able to help me with computing problems. He has already helped me with e-bay and pay pal and I have managed to buy a few things on e-bay but cannot sell as yet as I can't manage to put photos from my camera on - I will eventually! At present he can't help me as he has just had an op but will be able to do so soon.

Health. my health has improved and I am no longer taking steroids. I still have irritations on my skin, which has been getting me down. I have tried all sorts of creams but they don't really work -  so  am going to a homoeopath for help. Hopefully this will help. I have had this problem for 3 years.

Otherwise, I am feeling good and positive. This has been a good year. Mentally I am calmer, my body is a bit stiff and I have arthritic pains. But I am 81 (nearly 82) so it is to be expected.

I went to France in August with my daughter and her partner (that was very successful) I went to a wedding in Brussels and recently went to an 80th birthday in Berlin. I also spent New Year in California. So I am still doing some good things. I still exercise, but don't walk so much due to arthritis in my feet. I try and keep active mentally and physically. I am trying to go to Australia in a year (but am not certain about it). It is a gruelling journey.

I want to try and put a photo in here !

It worked!