December Days!

Here we are near the end of December, Christmas is over and the new year to look forward to.

Hasn't this year gone by so quickly! Especially this last month. We have had chilly days, lots of snow and ice - an exceptionally cold December. It all looks so beautiful, but is extremely cold.

These past few weeks have been busy with Christmas festivities. I have been to two Christmas lunches and a lovely afternoon party as well as the usual family Christmas Day lunch . It was lovely to be with the family though I find it a bit overwhelming these days. But it is great to see the grandchildren growing up and becoming independent and also to see my children as adults with interesting lives.

Also in the last week or so I have had two visitors staying here and on top of that decorators painting my hall. So it was all a bit chaotic. But it is all over now and I am beginning to relax and to enjoy a little time on my own.

This is a photo I took one very cold morning. It was amazing to see the frost. It has been too cold and icy to go for any walks but I hope to go on one in the New Year (and that the weather is a bit warmer). I am beginning to think like and 'old lady'' being scared to go out when the ground is icy. But I have to remind myself that if I to hurt myself in a fall I am on my own with no-one to help me. Also it takes longer to heal when you are old. So I am very cautious.

Autumn Pictures

Just thought I would like to add this lovely photo that someone took while were on our walk between Rickmansworth and Watford. It was such a lovely day (well, most of it as it rained towards the end). It was such a pleasant day.

The colours are so lovely and the scene so autumnal and peaceful.

November Sadness

I have titled this blog - November Sadness - because this month is always so very miserable. The end of the Autumn, the beginning of the Winter and the short days and dark long night are with us. I never used t0 feel the cold but this year it seems to affect me. I am hoping I will become adjusted to feeling chilly. I am trying not to let it get to me. But it is only half way through November!

After my last blog when I enthused over a particular day in October - the happy feeling stayed with me for a few days. Then came an incident which took me by surprise. On discussing emotions and how emotional our family is with my daughter - I took a remark she made to heart and started crying and just couldn't stop. I managed to control it for a few hours as we were with other people, but later the tears just came flooding back and I couldn't stop crying for nearly 2 days. I thought I had calmed myself down and then I started again. Then on the third day I was suddenly OK and thought back on what had happened and couldn't understand why I had behaved in such a way.

Thinking rationally about it all - I realised I had been under stress for some time. I lived next door to a very dysfunctional family, who were into drugs, beating people up and they had actually stolen from me. Then the upstairs flat was taken by prostitutes and we had to put up with very seedy characters hanging around. Then there was a stabbing and the police and paramedics were involved and it was just a dreadful time. I felt as if I was living in a 'soap opera' something seemed to happen nearly every day. Sometimes it was very surrealistic such as when their Rottweiler bitch had 11 puppies. At the same time there were problems with a restaurant over the road having entertainment until the early hours. Then gradually everything changed. The family moved on, the prostitutes moved out, the restaurant owner lost his licence. And once more peace ruled. The best part of all this is that the immediate neighbours have got to know each other and we have become quite friendly and supportive. I feel I could write a book about all these experiences. Any way it must have taken its toll on me and all the stress came out in the sobbing. I now feel very embarrassed about it all especially as I took it out on my daughter. However we have made it up and things are OK. I just can't talk about it with her as I know I will break down again.

I am beginning to feel more relaxed and my energy is slowly returning but I also realise that I am getting older and am not able to do all the things that I used to.

Things have calmed down and I am back doing my usual activities. Going to the Royal Academy to see an exhibition with a cousin - going to a lecture at my Fine Arts group - the discussion at the reading group was good and also keeping up with my friends and family. I also went on a very nice walk on Sunday - the weather remained dry (until the last half hour), the people on the walk were very friendly and the area along the Grand Union canal was very autumnal. So it was a pleasant Sunday.

I also have some nice things to look forward to. I am going to Bath for a week-end with a friend to visit the Christmas Market. Then in December I am going to stay in Suffolk at my friends' cottage and look after their two dogs. I always love going there and a few days away from London always does me good.

Happiness!

I have decided to write about good things in this post. I am fed up with being depressed and only want to be positive.

I had a moment of great happiness last week! In life one just takes things as they come - the good and the bad. But the precious moments of sublime happiness are very rare. There are great moments in life such as - first love - the birth of a baby - the joys of watching the children grow up and then there are moments when something simple just triggers off a moment of sheer delight. Perhaps a walk in the park and seeing the colours of the leaves or being with someone you care for. You want to keep that moment with you but reality takes over and it slips away. However, that warm feeling will remain and you know that life is worth while.

Well last week I met up with an old friend and because the weather was so beautiful (an October day that had blue skies and that lovely feeling of clarity and crispness in the air) on the spur of the moment we decided to go for a boat trip on Camden Lock. We spent about two hours on the boat, eating our sandwich lunch, drinking coffee and talking about various happenings in our lives and also reminiscing about the past. It felt so comfortable and so peaceful. A moment to hold (if possible). Travelling through the canal, passing Regents Park and the Zoo and listening the commentary by a charming young lady, just added to the to the day.

After that we went our separate ways - and I left for home feeling content, with a glow in my heart. I haven't felt like this for a long time and I have been holding this inside myself since then wanting to put this down in print. It was a perfect afternoon!

Catching up.!

The last time I wrote is the 8th August - so much time has passed by - so much has happened.



I last wrote just before I went on my trip to Canada and California and I was full of trepidation about the visits. I went for a wedding (my sister's grandaughter's) and then went on to stay with my Californian cousin. My sister and I have a very difficult relationship. We are like chalk and cheese - she thinks she is always right - and always has to be superior. I think I am more humble - and have less self esteem. But after years of pandering to her I now feel very rebellious. However, taking into account our ages, I have decided to try and just ignore things.



Most of the time we were together we got on OK. I didn't agree with everything she said and she always states her opinion about everything, but I tried to keep quiet. However towards the end of the week we seemed to feel warmer to each other as we had shared a very emotional moment when we both wept on seeing the beautiful young bride and we hugged each other! My sister has done some unforgiveable things to me in the past and I will never forget them. I will always feel hurt and there will always be some sort of barrier between us but we are both getting older and are the only two left of our family of 5 so I hesitate to cut off from her.



On the other hand my cousin from America was loving and helpful and made me feel very welcome and an equal. So in the end I did have a great time. I came home feeling very relaxed and realised that I had been under stress in London and going away did me a lot of good. My son met me at the airport and that was a bonus for me as I do not see him as often as I would like.



HOWEVER, after my son left I went upstairs and found that in my absence there had been an overflow of water from the loft into the spare room below. Half the ceiling had fallen down and everything was soaking wet. Unfortunately my computer was underneath the flow on water so I could not use it. That is one of the reasons I couldn't get up to date on this blog. I came home on the 26th August and today, 3rd October, I still have no ceiling and the room is also waiting to be decorated. The actual computer was saved - but the monitor, keyboard, printer etc were written off. Everything takes its time with the insurance companies and I am still waiting......



Though I was very depressed about the above I have also done a few nice things. I went on another walk one lovely late summer day. I spent a day in Kent with a friend. My friend from Suffolk came to stay and we also went on another long walk. I must make the most of these walks in the country as the weather is now changing and today it is raining and it looks as if it is set in for the day. One of my friends took me out for dinner (that was really nice) and I also went on a coach trip near Newbury and visited a wonderful chapel that had been built as a memorial and was decorated with Stanley Spencer paintings (which was superb). I am planning to go away for a week-end soon and have also been invited to stay in Suffolk in December for a few days. So these are all positive things to look forward to.

I will write again soon.

My thoughts about going on holiday!

I am going to fly to Toronto soon to visit family and go to a wedding.

This is not one of the things I really want to do. I do like travelling and seeing new places - but I have been to Toronto on many family occasions and they usually follow the same pattern. Lots of parties and celebrations. For me to go to all the bother of flying such a distance seems a waste of precious time. If I am to go through the inconveniences of long distance flying I would like to do something a bit more adventurous.

I am really not keen on weddings. I have very mixed feelings about being with my sister, who has invited me. We have a very difficult relationship and I don't want to be put under stress. It is a very expensive trip . These are my main objections.

The good side - I will see family and friends who I haven't met up with for years, particularly my cousin from California. I am going back to California with my cousin - so that would be a nice thing to do. We are all getting older and so we should see each other as often as we can. Life goes by so fast and I may regret the chance to see the overseas family.

Though the last paragraph is true - I still have a resentment about this trip. I feel I was put into a position where it was very hard to say no.

Anyway I am going and once I am on the plane I will start looking forward to the holiday and be very positive. I will try not to get upset with my sister!

That was my grouchy side - now for the positive side.

I had an unexpected phone call from my son, who is in the South of France. He is disabled and life can be very difficult for him. However after he had overcome some obstacles, he actually managed to swim in the Mediterranean. I was happy on two accounts - first that he had achieved this and second that he actually phoned to tell me about it. In fact I feel very emotional at the thought of this and feel so very proud of him.

More blog thoughts when I get back from my trip to Canada and California. I am going to be on 5 planes in 2 weeks! Help!

Mood swings!

Last time I wrote I was quite high. It had been my birthday and everything seemed to be going really well. But reality set in and my mood has gone right down.



It is not as if I don't do interesting things and go places and keep in touch with friends - my life seems quite full - but when I stop to think I realise that I am on my own - and I have to make an effort to do all those things. Underneath the optimism and enjoyment of what I am doing - is a depressed person. I miss having someone to share my thoughts and feelings with. I miss discussing with someone who cares what matters to me. This blog helps a bit as it gives me an outlet to express myself. But, of course, I need a real live person.



I do try and discuss things with my friends, but they seem so taken up with their problems and needs - that I tend to shut up about myself and just listen sympathetically to them. Because I understand how they feel, I can empathise with them - but that means putting my needs last and I tend to clam up.



Decision making is another thing I find difficult to do at these times. I dither about what I should do - one minute I say 'yes, go ahead' and then I say 'why - do you really want to do this'. Then I am afraid that if I stop doing an activity I will then find time hanging and then desperately look for something to do. Realistically I do need to fill in my time but not go to extremes as other people seem to do. Some of my friends seem to fill in every minute of their week. I do like to have some time on my own - but too much time alone makes me depressed.



I made the decision years ago that I didn't want to stay with my husband - but I did think I would meet someone else. However that didn't happen and I remained on my own. Yes, I did meet other men - but none of them were of the type that I could share my life with.



I have done so many wonderful things in my life since I have been on my own - I have had adventures and seen and done great things. I may not have been able to do any of these things if I had been in a relationship - certainly not if I had remained with my husband. As I am writing this I can feel my mood lightening and am remembering some of the super things I have done. So it has done me some good writing this.



The best day of this week was Wednesday. I met my son at the Royal Academy to see the Summer Exhibition and we had a good time. Having coffee in the Friends Room, looking at various paintings and discussing our feeling about them - and just being together. We also had lunch sitting in the courtyard of the Royal Academy. The weather was also lovely.

The Sunday before I went for a lovely walk with one of my daughters and her partner in Hertfordshire and that was also a great day. The weather was good and we walked through golden fields, the wheat was ripening and there were notices stating that the wheat was specially grown for the local mill. We got to the Mill and bought some wonderful fresh bread - just baked from local wheat! It was a wonderful feeling getting something that was grown locally.

So after all that - how can I remain depressed!!!

My Birthday Thoughts!

I am the one in red. I don't think I look 76 - do I?
This was taken in an outdoor Gym when I went on my last Sunday walk!







Its my birthday today. I am 76 years old. I can't believe I am that old - but I am. Today I don't feel my age as I had a lovely day and feel fit and young.


Sometimes I feel very low and think no-one cares about me - but today really proves that I am wrong. My 3 children and my oldest Grandson all phoned me and I had phone calls and emails from abroad. E-mails from Argentina, Belgium, Germany and Canada! My friend in Germany also called but I was not in. I just feel very loved and cared for and on top of the world!





On Sunday I had all the family over for afternoon tea. It was a great afternoon and I made lots of sandwiches, cakes and Strawberries and cream. I always like to have Strawberries on my birthday. I think the 1st July is a special day as it is the middle of the year, it is the middle of the summer and the sun usually shines! The finale of the day was when my son had to return to collect something he had left behind. By that time it was 9.30 at night, but we sat outside in the garden eating dessert of strawberries and cream, feeling very content and relaxed. It was really lovely to have that special time with him. He called it the 'post script'!





Today, my actual birthday, my youngest daughter took me out for lunch. It was a very nice restaurant overlooking a park. The weather was also very good. Afterwards we met the children from school and I spent an hour with them before I made my way home. It has been very hot today - and I feel very sleepy. So I had another lovely day.





I have some photos of my garden on Kodak Share - but cannot find away to get copies on to this blog. I have tried putting them into a document but it doesn't happen. Still I have one photo that I saved on my documents from an email someone sent me and I will try and print it now.

I know this blog is for me to have a grumble and get my frustrations out but this week has been so good that I can't think of anything to moan about. Last Saturday I had lunch with an old friend in her garden and it was very relaxing. We haven't spent such a nice time together for years . Then on Monday I met another old friend and we had a super walk along the tow path of the canal from Camden to Regents Park - through Regents Park and on to Euston. It was so good to talk to someone I have known since I was 14. We recollected that we bought our first peddle pusher jeans and our first bikinis together - we were quite the trend setters in those days!

So I will end on this happy exuberant note!

This summer!

This summer had flown by. I have done quite a lot of interesting things. I keep thinking about writing this Blog, but something always gets in the way.

I have gone away a few times. Twice to Suffolk, twice to Kent and also my Cultural trip to Chester. So that means I have spent quite a lot of time away from home. So my garden has been a bit neglected. I really love my garden - and though I think it looks like a jungle - other people seem to like its natural look. Every spring I put in lots of plants and many of them do not survive. But the ones that do are great. Two years ago I planted a clematis, which has struggled to survive. One year it had some glorious flowers, and last year it was very poor - however this year there are lots of buds waiting to come out. There are already three lovely flowers showing. So I feel very happy. What annoys me is that my daughter and her partner bought their clematis at the same time from the same nursery and theirs flowers in abundance every year and has several flowerings a season. They only have a little patio. When mine flowers it is glorious, but usually they do not last too long and once they have finished blooming they do not grow again!

My other moan is that I have neighbours from hell. I am not going into any details about them - only to say that they have spoiled my summer as I cannot sit out in the garden because they make so much noise. As well as talking at the tops of their voices every second word is a swear word - and it is very unpleasant for me and for the neighbours.

To change the subject to something more pleasant - I had some wonderful walks when I stayed in Suffolk. The weather was fair so I managed to get out every day. I have a very close friend there, who enjoys walking as much as I do. My recent stay in Kent was also very pleasant.

I am back home now until my next trip - which is to Plymouth - to visit a friend who I have know for many years. She visits me here quite often as she has many friends and relations to see and we also do a few things together. I go to her at least once a year. I am very lucky to be able to go to these places.

I had another nice Sunday walk. We only do about 4 miles, but it is very pleasant to walk and talk with friends at a relaxed rate.

I have some nice photos on my camera which I must check out an then post on this blog. Next time!

A cultural holiday in Cheshire!

I went on a cultural trip with my Fine Arts group. There were about 30 of us - mostly women. I did know most of them from previous holidays and there were a few new members We all got on well and enjoyed the visits we made very much. The people who organise these trips are really superb. They plan everything to perfection and also make sure that our hotel is excellent. The whole atmosphere is relaxed. By the end of the few days there was a continual hum of people chatting and lots of laughter. The picture on the left is one I took of some of the members at a wonderful old house with beautiful gardens. We visited an art gallery, several old houses and gardens, 2 churches and Chester Cathedral. The cathedral is really impressive and the guide, who took us around, was very interesting and had a great way of explaining its history to us.

The summer seems to have come at last and the weather is now quite warm. I have spent a lot of time in the garden planting the bedding plants I bought a few weeks ago and, with the bluebells that grow wild every year, the garden looks great. I get great enjoyment from my garden. I am a lousy gardener and I have had many failures - but the plants that survive do look good.

I am home now for 3 days and will then go back to Suffolk (I went there Easter time - and I think I described it then), In my next blog I will print some pictures of the countryside and the old house that I am staying in. I am looking forward to being in the country, relaxing, walking and reading. I will also see one or two old friends while I am there. I will be away for a week.

At the moment I am feeling quite relaxed and less stressed. Life at home can be stressful - just with everyday problems. I know I should be more laid back about things - but I worry about my situation eg. ageing, being on my own, and I also worry about my family. I don't think anyone ever stops worrying about one's children and grandchildren.

This blog is supposed to be about me getting irritating things out - but this edition has been quite mild and relaxed. But I will make one complaint.

I have an account with Debenhams and pay it off each time I get a statement. However, somehow 9 pence was still owing. I went to the Store because there was a sale on and I would also get another 20% because of having a card. However, when I handed in my card I was told it was not accepted. I found out it was because I owed the 9p!!! If it was for £100 outstanding it is understandable - but for for 9p!!! There - that's my grumble for now.

Another week-end!

As this is a Bank Holiday weekend I panicked and thought 'what am I going to do?' I had no plans, my friends seem to be busy and my family were all doing things. But I decided not to despair and be positive. Today I went on a walk with a walking group I have belonged to for over a year. Most of the members are my age - some a lot older, so the pace isn't too hard. I use this group on such occasions as this and have always enjoyed walking with them.

The walk today was around Regents Park and then on the Regents Canal tow path up to Little Venice where there was a 'Cavalcade' - there were lots of barges all decorated - music etc. The Regents Park part of the walk was really lovely - sun actually came out for some of the time and the spring flowers were just glorious. We went to Camden Lock for lunch - but that was too noisy and crowded, so I lead a couple of people to a quiet, green space that I knew. After lunch we did the 'Little Venice' part of the walk which was also very nice, but I felt quite tired by then. We must have walked for about 4 hours with a l hour lunch break in between - so I got home feeling very tired but content. I walked and talked with some very nice people saw some interesting places and I feel very healthy and relaxed.

Tomorrow I intend to do some housework and/gardening. This is the time of year when things look shabby and need perking up. And on Monday I am going to one of daughter's for a barbeque So my empty week-end will have been filled in a very pleasant way.

That is the problem with living alone. You need to be with people some of the time but there is also a need for time to one self. But if you have been on your own for more than a day you start thinking depressing thoughts.

I do get worked up sometimes, thinking everyone is doing something with someone and I am the only one alone - no-one really cares. But I do know that isn't always true. I also know that I have to be positive and, if I really want to, there are plenty of interesting things I can do. However, I still have the feeling that I wish I had someone to do things with. Not necessarily a partner, but a special friend.

I am sorry I have no pictures this blog - but there are one or two on my camera and I will endeavour to get them on for my next blog. I am still not too certain how to save the photos and move them to this blog! I usually manage to do it, so I will have to be patient.

Catching up with life!

When one retires you think that life will be gentle and calm and the days will flow on in a pleasant way. However, reality is so different. I seem to have so many things happening in my life all the time and it rare that I have a few days of contemplation and calm.

It is a month since I have had time to write. First, I had visitors (which I wrote about previously) then I went away on two different visits. One to Kent and the other to Suffolk and since I have come back there have been more visitors. As well as that I have quite a few regular activities I like to keep up with. Exercise classes, meeting friends and one or two societies.

I have a new activity. Last year I did some volunteer work with the Museum of London Archive department with the U3A and completed a presentation. This was quite a milestone for me and made me really keen on archaeology. When I heard there was a group in my local museum working on finds that were discoverd over many years, over several digs, I asked if I could join them. So I have been going on Thursday mornings just to help out. It is quite tedious work really, but a great feeling handling old shards and re-packaging and labelling them. Also it is nice to meet up with other people who are involved in this.

The history of the area is that in the '70's this old barn was discovered (it had been used for gardeners tools) to be an example of a Tudor Tithe Barn and money had been raised to renovate it and turn it in to a museum and heritage site. So I have visited this place over the years - to the museum - to listen to Sunday afternoon music concerts, to listen to talks and also on May day when they hold events. Now I am very slightly involved with it. This makes me feel good.

When I was in Suffolk I stayed in an old Suffolk Long House owned by friends of mine who have two very lovely Lurcher dogs. I go there often to look after the dogs and house while the owners are away. For me it is a wonderful experience to be out in the country in a really beautiful country village and to be with these lovely dogs. I must admit that they can sometimes be a bit of a handful (especially as I am getting older and don't have the strength I used to have when I first looked after them). I have been going there for more than 16 years - there have been different lurchers because as one dies they adopt another one. I am just very happy there. It is also a time to get away from the stresses of London life.

I still go on the monthly Sunday walks and the latest photo is above. The meeting place for this walk is at the old Tithe Barn.

Spring time!

It seems as if Spring is here at last. This morning the sun was out, sky was blue and I felt warm for the first time in weeks.

I haven't written for a while as I have house guests and they have taken up a lot of my time and patience. It is lovely to have people around for a while - but I am used to my own company these days so have learned to enjoy being on my own too. So I am now looking forward to a quieter time.

As one gets older one worries about the most mundane things and they appear so important. But when they have resolved themselves you wonder why you got yourself in such a state. Worrying takes up so much time and energy. I had a problem with my car and got really worked up about it until it was repaired. The other week I had a problem with the Internet. Somehow I got cut off
I phoned BT (my provider) and a very nice Indian talked me through and was very patient with me and in the end I got back on. There was such a sense of elation and achievement when it all worked out. Today's technical world is just so difficult for us older generation to comprehend. I do wonder what the future holds for the young people of today. How my grandchildren will cope with the technological age.

I have had problems with my neighbours for the past 4 years. They are a very dysfunctional family and have created lots of problems. Now other people have moved into the flat above them
and they also are problematic. So this week I spoke to the Safer Neighbourhood Team about them - they have been very supportive to me in the past. They seem aware of what is going on next door and are keeping an eye on the situation.

My new project. Last year I went on a project with the Museum of London archives and helped label and store artifacts from some digs. Then I heard there was a project going on in my home area and so I volunteered to go on it. I think it will be quite interesting. With the first project l gained so many news skills, got to know some really nice people and learned a lot about archaeology. So I hope this new project will be as interesting and informative. More news on this project later.

Spring is on its way!

I've just been for another Sunday walk. As you see it is still quite cold, but it has been lovely and sunny. We have had so little sun this winter that it was just glorious to be outside and see the blue sky and the SUN!! We ended up once more at a coffee shop for lovely hot chocolate. It is a great way to spend a winter Sunday morning.

I have been trying to get the picture of the Iris on this blog but something happened as I was editing it and it seems to have disappeared. But here are the snowdrops! The first sign that spring is on its way. I'll have a go with the Iris photo another time.

Another week has flown by!

A friend showed me her daughter's blog and she made it so interesting - mine seems so boring - I must think of something to liven it up.

I have been feeling quite optimistic lately and I think it is because the weather is improving slightly and also that I am exercising regularly. When one gets older you find that if you don't keep active you will seize up and lose the ability to move or think - so I make the effort to keep going. Sometimes it is quite hard to motivate myself. For instance one of my exercise classes is in Covent Garden Gym and to get there it takes about 45 minutes on the underground. When the weather is bad I just don't want to go - but I usually make myself.

One of the things that worries me about ageing is memory. I forget words and they don't come back to me for some time - so when I am speaking to someone I have to use other ways of expressing myself which makes me sound hesitant and I realise the other person is trying to help me out by putting in words. My only consolation is that the lost words do come back to me later, I always think that if they don't come back then I am starting to have demensia.

Physically I am quite well - but my joints are beginning to ache. My knees hurt when I go up and down the stairs. I have various arthritic pains. And I get tired easily. I used to be able to do so much more.

My week has been quite pleasant. Two exercise classes. Lunch with two friends on different days. a committee meeting and a lecture at the History Society.

Nice thoughts to finish of my blog - Thinking of summer holidays - ideas for Canada and California (one trip) Prague, Budapest, Poland another trip. And maybe Paris for a few days! It all sounds wonderful. I hope I manage to do some of them.

Next week a friend is coming to stay and that will be very pleasant.

This week end a Saturday morning walk and meeting up with family to go to the theatre in the afternoon, then on Sunday a walk with another group (probably about 4 miles). I hope the weather stays fine. The weather has really improved and some of my spring bulbs are beginning to show. First the snow drops and now the crocuses and then one beautiful dwarf Iris. It is so pretty!

Peaceful times!

This is a picture taken when I went on a walk two Sunday's ago. As you can see it was a cold day, but we had a good time and ended up having hot chocolate and pastries at a Patisserie. I wrote about it previously, but just wanted to publish this picture. I am afraid none of us look very glamorous.

This week has been very quiet and peaceful and I managed to catch up with things, like emails, housework etc. Tomorrow I am making lunch for some of the family. I am looking forward to that.

Nice things that have happened this week! Some friends I met on a project (last year) have contacted me and we hope to meet up early April to see an exhibition.

A cousin from California has invited me to visit her in the Summer. We are going to a family wedding in August (in Toronto) and I will then go back to California with her. That is something really nice to look forward to. As I have said before this has been a miserable winter so it is good to have things to look forward to.

A friend of my Youth Club days has just re-appeared and we have met up a few times and this week we are trying to arrange some time to get together.

On Wednesday I will be going to a planning meeting for the U3A Sunday group. This group is for people who are on their own on Sundays and want to do something with other people. We usually go to exhibitions, visit National Trust houses or go for walks in London and has been running quite successfully for several years now. I really feel pleased to be involved.

One of the problems about getting old is that you are no longer involved with things as you did when working or bringing up families. So you have to be very motivated and find interesting and stimulating things to do.

So this has been one of my peaceful, uneventful weeks, Other than the bad weather there has been little to moan about.

Another week!

Another week has gone by and I have only now had time to write this. My weeks go by so fast, sometimes too fast. However, during the week I kept thinking of all the things I want to write - but of course I have forgotten what I wanted to say.

There are times when I get a bit low. Being on my own, I really have no-one to talk to about my feelings. On Friday I went to Kew Gardens by myself. I had been thinking about it for weeks and, as the weather looked good, I made up my mind to go. It was a super day and I really enjoyed it but I did miss a companion. Or at least someone I could have discussed it with when I got home. I am usually a very optimistic person but at times like this I feel a bit down.

I do have friends but not anyone I can just phone up and say "I had a super day today". Most of my friends seem not to listen to what I have to say about my feelings, they just come out with their own problems. I do understand their needs and I do listen to them sympathetically but I also need some one who will listen to me.

That is one of the reasons why I have started this blog so that I can get some of my pent up feeling out. And I don't mean just to moan about things but to share my enjoyment and happy moments too. The happy moments seem to go by so quickly that it is hard to capture them and this could be a good way to hold them.

Some of my happy moments are times when I am with my family I am so very proud of them. We had a lot of problems when they were young and they have all managed to move on from them and lead very active, useful and successful lives.

Just to note briefly my week-ends activities. On Friday I went to Kew Gardens. On Saturday morning I went on one of my Saturday morning walks, this week around the Ealing area and today went with my U3A group to the Wildlife Photographer of the Year Exhibition. So I have been busy and quite satisfied.

My thoughts on today 14th February

I have been thinking about what I should put on this blog and decided to use it as a sort of diary of some of the good things I have been doing. I have suddenly realised that I am becoming a 'grumpy old woman' and want to stay positive. So I want to put positive things in.

I also want to record things so that in the future I will be able to see what I was able to do when I was 75 years old. I want to stay as young and healthy as possible. So I will be able to monitor how I am progressing (or deteriorating)!

Today I went on a lovely walk with a group from the U3A. It was only a 4 mile walk but just the right amount for me as I haven't been feeling too energetic lately. There were six of us and we ended up at a cafe drinking hot coffee or chocolate and pastries! Yummy!

Mathilde send me a photo that she took - as soon as I know how to put it on this blog I will do so.

This is all new to me - and it will take time for me to get used to this new technology!

First post

hi, this is my first time. More to follow.