Thoughts for June

I am confused about the new settings for this blog. I am used to the old way and can't cope with change!

May and June have been very up and down. There were times when I was really in despair, life was getting so complicated. Everything mechanical seemed to go wrong and I was floundering and trying to work out what I think were very complicated technical actions. TV, DVD, new cooker, new washing machine, the printer needing a new cartridge - all seemed too much.

There was one day when I felt I had coped with so much - things were going wrong and I was trying so hard to correct them. Eventually my washing machine had broken down and I had bought a new model. The act of choosing a new machine was just too much for me - I came home almost in tears feeling completely overwhelmed and just wanting to talk to someone (my son's name came into my mind) and as I came in through the front door the phone was ringing and it was my son! I just cried for a moment - but felt so relieved that there was someone I could talk to. Another incident, more recently, was when I had to put a new ink cartridge into the printer. This is a new printer and so I had never done it before and was, understandably, nervous. I actually did it quite easily but once again my nerves were on edge and I felt tearful - my daughter phoned me just at that point. It was if we were both on the same wave length.


One disaster was that the glass oven door of my brand new oven just smashed into smithereens. The door opened downwards - and some thing that had been resting on the hob fell down on to it and the glass shattered. It shattered into tiny little pieces - just like a windscreen when a stone hits it with force! This has now been repaired.

I have also been away to Stafford with my Fine Arts group and that was a very good experience. I haven't put the photos onto 'Easyshare' yet - when I have done so I will put some pictures onto the blog.

I also spent a few days in Kent with a friend. This friend I have known since 1976. We have been good friends ever since and shared many ups and downs in our lives as well as some holidays. We don't see very much of each other but over the last few years have met up about 3 times a year in this place in Kent. During these mini holidays we have shared driving and visiting places of interest and get on very well. However over the years my friend has deteriorated in health and now cannot do things that she used to do.She has slowed down and cannot walk as she used to. So I find I have to leave her and do things on my own. I find she is self absorbed and I don't get the pleasure in her company that I used to get. I have always admired her so much and put her on a pedestal - but have now changed my opinion. I feel so very mean about it. I hate to think this way and I try to be very patient with her. I also am very fond of her but I get so frustrated in her company. I also feel so awful feeling this way.

Yesterday I had a nice day with my Sunday group. We walked on the tow path of the canal, from Little Venice to Camden Town. It was a very nice warm, sunny day and the company was good.

I still have friendship problems but can't talk about them in this blog. Next time I will try and talk about my feelings about friends. It is enough that I wrote about my frustrations with technology and coping with problems in putting them right.