I often think about what I am going to say on this blog as I go about my life, but when I get to the computer everything just goes and I forget what I wanted to say. I still have problems with friendships but nothing upsetting has occurred lately and I am trying to be independent and not rely on other people being around.
I did go through a short spell of depression not long ago - but couldn't really talk to anyone. I tried to talk to my daughter and though she listened I felt that she was not really concentrating hard on what I was saying. She, herself, has been going through a very bad time and I have tried to always be there for her. To give her her due she did try and listen and be supportive.
I still worry about my children - even though they are in their 50's (one of them is 49)- and they do have problems. And some of them worry about their jobs and how they will support their families if they are made redundant! Life is so difficult for young people these days and I think it will get harder as the country is in a recession (as well as Europe and US) and the Government is making cuts in social welfare and the poor and special needs people are going to have to make cuts. It makes me mad when I think how rich the rich are and how little they suffer - BUT the less able are the ones that have to pay. It is all so very complicated and I find it hard to work out in my 'small' mind what is the best way for everyone to cope.
I am surprised at how easy it was! It also makes me remember how lovely it was when I was last there. I feel so privileged to have the chance to stay in this delightful area. It has really added a dimension to my life that I never thought I would have. I am also so pleased that I am able let my children share in my wonderful country life as I am able to invite them down at various times. I am also very happy there on my own - as I have made friends there and have been able to explore the lovely countryside.
Christmas is nearly upon us and I really dread this time. I panic about getting presents for everyone and food shopping and wanting to see all the family. It usually ends up quite well but I am pleased when it is over. I have just been frustrated when I phoned my son's home to try and make some arrangements to see the grandchildren when I was told I had to wait until they had sorted out their plans. I really feel bad that I don't see them as often as I would like. I get quite emotional about it in fact I am tearful at this moment.
I was with them so much when they were younger and looked after them from the age of 8 months but now I rarely have the chance to see them or to know what they are doing and that is quite sad.
The weather has become quite cold over the past couple of days - I never used to feel the cold as I have done recently. We had a strange summer, from dry weather to lots of rain and parts of the country have suffered floods, and now this cold patch is upon us. I wonder what the winter will be like.
That is all I can think of at the moment. Will write again soon.
Next time I will try and write about my experience with a new friend and religion.
